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Saturday, 21 January 2012

finding the funny

so, i'm depressed. big fucking surprise there. i'm also pissed off at myself for being so goddamned apathetic and moping around like a fucking kicked puppy. what the fuck, self?

it seems that what i really should be doing is taking my own advice of a couple weeks ago: try to find the fucking funny in shit. ok. so how? re-do this week's SEXY SATURDAY post perhaps? nahhh man, i kinda like that one. even though i wrote all of one sentence. hmmm... funny funny funny.. where the FUCK is my funny?!

if you've ever been depressed before, maybe you'll be able to relate to this. i looked really funny today. this morning i changed out of my bed clothes into *surprise* more bed clothes. a BRIGHT blue and pink striped tweety bird tank and canary yellow shorts, to be exact. don't judge me. depression doesn't color coordinate. don't try to envision how i must have looked, either. i don't want your eyes to bleed. 

this morning, i didn't brush my hair. i just piled it all up into a messy bun at the top of my head. well, i finally got around to brushing it out some time after supper, and imagine my surprise when a whole family of disgruntled rats jumped out! well, no. that really didn't happen. but it could have. i'm surprised a new species of something wasn't discovered in there. 

any more funny? well, this morning i went out to check the mail since i hadn't gone yesterday. and since it is only at the end of the driveway, i just threw on my ancient, fuzzy red robe and my broke ass, rez-looking sneakers and went. apparently BF watched the whole spectacle from the window, and by the time i had turned around to go back to the house, he was there, with both boys, all of them laughing hysterically at my outfit. fuckers. when i think back now though, that must have been pretty fucking funny. i also wonder what my poor older neighbour thinks of me after that display? am i now the crazy cat/dog/bird/kid lady of the street, known to run amok from time to time in a fuzzy red robe and canary yellow shorts IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING JANUARY?! oh well. haters gonna hate.

another thing that gave me a little smirk and a giggle or two {or seven}, was a particular thought provoking mini-convo i had with BF that somehow turned to the subject of me possibly being mildly bipolar {if there even is such a thing. i haven't googled it though, because i don't want to know ANYTHING until i hear it from the doctor}. BF said to me, "i don't think you're bipolar. you're just smart. smart people are fucking psycho. it's ok, i still love you. but i am glad that you're not a genius!"  ummm ok. thanks? i think? despite BF's diagnosis {?} of "fucking psycho" and his rather hasty assumption that i am not, in fact, a genius, this little exchange made me laugh. i love him for being able to bring some laughs and smiles into this blackness. 

that's about all i got, folks. i do feel a little more human and a little less zombie-like today though, so i suppose that's better than nothing right? and if i never haul my ass out of this funk, at least i can take comfort in the fact that my fashion choices will be providing someone out there with a bit of entertainment, and perhaps even provide them with their daily recommended dosage of "WHAT IN THE SWEET FLYING FUCK?!" 


  1. OH man.
    Can I relate to ALLLLL OF THIS.

    Rock out in the yellow shorts.
    Rock out with the unbrushed hair.

    You'll get out of it.
    And then, right an EVEN MORE hysterical post than this one.

    1. you're sweet :)
      hahaha yeah man, i rocked that shit. shoulda seen my strut with that raggedy old robe LOL
      i am feeling MUCH better now. damn hormones!

  2. I didn't know staying in bedclothes all day meant you're depressed. Shit. I'm depressed!! Maybe. Hang in there!

    1. hehehe.. well, it doesn't, not necessarily :)
      sometimes a bitch just wants to be comfy... BUT when you have a rats' nest on your head and you haven't seen a bra for at least a week, well that can indicate a problem :P
      i'm ok now... it's all part of the strange and wondeerful menstrual cycle o.O