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Saturday, 26 November 2011

some shit you should know XD

i think i love this whole blogging thing. i've always loved writing, especially having a good rant & rave.. but in this day and age, i think a diary which just gets shoved into the panty drawer when i'm done unloading just doesn't cut it. what's a good rant if there's no one to appreciate it right? and i'm hoping there's some of you out there that will enjoy what i have to write. if not, that's ok too.

so what i figured i'd do with this post is to tell you a bit about myself and this strange and wonderful thing called my life. i was going to do it when i created my profile.. but you know, once i get writing {or typing, what the fuck ever}, i tend to get a little side tracked, and what i end up with is nothing like what i had in mind when i first set out. i'm a fucking scatterbrain. probably has something to do with my complete dependence of caffeine.

basically, i'm just another mom of 3 with a boyfriend of about 8 years {on and off, bless his little arsehole of a heart}. to avoid any confusion, i guess we could call him BF. we fight a lot, and we break up a lot.. or at least come close to it. but we usually work it out in the end, and usually thanks  to our 3 lovely little crotchfruit {2 boys and a girl}. 

my oldest son is 8 years old {we'll call him #1}, and is not BF's biological son, but he is his son in every other sense of the word. the "sperm donor", as i like to call him, is currently incarcerated in a maximum security prison. {he's actually due to be released in little over a month, i'll post about that whole shitfest another time}. but basically, BF is the only dad #1 has ever known, and all the dad he'll ever need. #1 is the easiest for me to relate to of all my children. he's laid back, mellow, and cooler than i ever thought an 8 year old {or any child for that matter} could possibly be. but he's also a slickster that misses very little. at the age of 6, he already knew when i was getting paid, and would ask for what he wanted on the night before pay day, without fail, every week. we have the same twisted sense of humor, although his is still innocent and uncorrupted by internet memes like mine. he's becoming a little bookworm too, much to my delight. anything to get him off the computer and video games!!

#2 is my middle child, my handsome 5 year old boy. he's always been a tiny bit more spoiled than the other two, as hard as that is to admit. but his birth was a traumatic one, and i think that might be part of the reason. after 16 hours of intense labor, poor little #2 got stuck at the shoulders on his way out. this was an emergency, since the cord was compressed and could not deliver oxygen. as well, his little chest was compressed by the birth canal and he was unable to take a breath on his own. my doctor worked quickly, because if he wasn't born within a minute or two he could have irreversible brain damage. she pretty much yanked the poor guy out of my battle weary vagina, breaking his little arm in the process. thankfully, no permanent damage was done and his arm was healed perfectly in about a month. 
#2 is a little clone of his father... bossy, opinionated, and with a silver tongue. he has this crazy charisma i've never seen in a child so young. i'd never believe it if i didn't witness it every day, but this little guy can have anyone, adult or child, wrapped around his little finger before they even realize what's happened. he often joins forces with #1, and when they work together, they are an often unstoppable force.

my baby is #3, the last child i'll have, my pretty little girl. she's 20 months old, and our little world revolves around her. rather than being jealous or envious of her, #1 and #2 are just as captivated by her charm as everyone else. but how could they help it? she is an amazing child. at the age of 5 months, and this is no bullshit i swear to you, she was rolling over both ways AND sitting up. at 6 months, she was crawling and pulling herself up to stand. when we moved from our tiny trailer to a bigger house, and she suddenly had all this space to explore, she started walking.. at 8 months old!! so you can imagine the fun i have during the day with her. if she can get a chubby little leg up on something {hell, even the tip of a toe i bet}, she can climb it. 

and that, my friends, is my little family. i look forward to sharing with you the crazy shit that happens here, as well as other little stories about how i struggled through the past 26 years to finally get here, to this little slice of sometimes fucked up heaven that is now my life.

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