suck ass sunday

meh... so i missed my customary Sexy Saturday post. forgive me? i'll give you this as an apology:

you're welcome

the reason i missed it, is that i was hung THE FUCK over. see, i drink maybe once a month now {geez, YES I KNOW.. i really gotta settle down with my crazy ass}, and friday was one of those nights. and as a result of my pounding, about to explode brain, i postponed the customary morning-after "scroll of shame" until today. it's not as bad looking at all of the foolish, irrelevant, and downright WTF moments of online inebriation when the hangover is nothing but a memory.


anywho, because of my over-indulgence in the wine on friday night, i didn't so much as open the lid of my laptop on saturday. not that i had much feel-good, positive sexy saturday goodness to report..


so today shall be dubbed "SUCK ASS SUNDAY".

ok, i will admit that this entire week hasn't sucked ass. there were a few good things. but FUCK i'm mad NOW, and i don't want to be un-mad.. yet. 


1. BF is a dick face who was gone for 3 days without a single call, message, or ANYTHING. apparently he got picked up while on his way home for a weed possession charge. i really don't care if the fucking aliens came down from planet whateverthefuck to anal probe him and bring world peace from the info collected in his rectum. HE COULD HAVE AT LEAST TRIED IN SOME WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM to contact me. he's back now, and i am trying to restrain my spork hand from sporking his nutsack off and mounting it on my wall. the adult discussion will commence once the children are asleep. and by adult discussion i mean me TEARING him a BRAND-NEW shiny asshole. 


2. my cat is in heat and had a threesome {?} with my dogs. yeah, i know.. WTF?! and no, i am NOT going into an in-depth explanation on THAT. the fact that i had to type those words is enough of a reason for me to say FML as it is.




and there you have it. this sunday can suck my pretty little ass :)

SEXY SATURDAY #3

ummmm... this week? let's just fucking forget about this week, mmmkay?
here's some sexy ;)

is it getting warm in here?

NOM

*drools*
shut up, conan's my man <3

whooops!! 

HOT.. now if that skinny bitch would just
fuck off and get out of the way..

umm..

OMFG

please, ladies.. keep your panties on. 

<3

mmm... ink..

conan can rock the jeggings 

yumm <3

SEXY SATURDAY #2

happy sexy saturday folks!! this week has been pretty fucking special!! but i don't fucking remember what good things fell on what fucking day this time, so this is what you will get: a list of all the good shit. 




1. i have a new puppy, and she is smart as fuck. even though i have to wake up several times in the night to take her out to pee, the fact that she has only had 2 accidents on my floor in the 3 days that i've had her makes up for all that. i've had my chihuahua for A YEAR, and he is still resisting me when it comes to going outside to piss. 




2. i started a little project which may or may not evolve into a book! a REAL, LIVE BOOK... with chapters and shit!! now, i'm not sure where this will take me, or even how long i will be able to keep interest, but i have to at least try. many thanks to my beautiful, sweet sister for her encouraging words!


3. #3 is doing awesome with her potty training, building her experience as a piss ninja of epic proportions. some day soon, i will buy my last package of pull ups and be done with it. i think i will throw a fucking party.


4. the boys are back to school, and we were able to fall back into our old routine without much difficulty.


5. after some ass-kissing of EPIC proportions, i changed my fb relationship status back to engaged. after our fight, i hadn't changed it to single, but i did change from engaged to blank. while it may have been an impulsive, spur of the moment reaction on my part, i did have my reasons for keeping it that way for a couple of weeks. and while no dates have been set nor any plans made, what i DO have is a beautiful ring.. but even more than that, an actual sincere apology. hmmm.. seems they DO learn eventually. 


6. one of my inspirations for my fb page and blog, the wonderful Holdin' Holden, has decided to use one of MY posts as a guest blog!!! this chick is FUCKING AMAZEBALLS, and this is a HUGE honour!! i do encourage you to check out both her fb page and her blog, because her shit is THE SHIT!! 






that's it for this week, folks. i'd love to write some more, but i have important shit to do. like eat ribs, watch the game, and sip some cold beer. have a wonderful week everyone!! 

SEXY SATURDAY **World Premiere**

so, i've been inspired by a few of the blogs i follow in that some have a day each week where they list things they love or are greatful for. seems like a good way to help me to see the good in every week. but which day? and what title? Things I Love Thursdays and Faceless/Fuck off Fridays are taken.. no fucking way i'd attempt to shove positive bullshit down your throats on a monday, tuesdays are usually busy for me, and wednesday.. well wednesday just doesn't sound fun. so here we are on saturday. saturday is fucking awesome {unless you got drunk last night lol}, everyone is home in their jammies, and bras/pants are optional. fuck, as i'm pounding away here on my keyboard, i'm rocking a tank and short shorts. comfy as fuck, AND showing a bit of skin for BF's benefit. so here we go with my first installment of Sexy Saturday {HEY look i even capitalized the first letters!! so you know it's important!}.. and why sexy? well because when i feel good, i feel sexy.. and it has a ring to it.. and if the sexy saturday post has nothing sexy in it, it will be accompanied by a sexy pic, courtesy of the internets. or whatever.. i never told you that my posts would always make sense, did i? fuck off and read it, mmmkay?




Sexy Saturday #1

excuse me while i go hose myself down...
*drools*

look at that savage, sexy beast!! NOM NOM NOM!! now that just makes my day instantly better, and i hope you enjoy it too.


now, this being my first sexy saturday, i'm afraid i might struggle with finding much good in this week. maybe i'll get better at it as i do more. i hope so. well, i guess if you're readng this, then i must have.. because if i can't think of much, this sexy native and whatever assortment of typed words on this page will be forever exiled to the draft folder.. i pray for strength not to fail you, oh sexy brown man.. whew.. ok, here goes nothin..




SUNDAY
first day of the new year. whoop de fucking doo.. oh yeah, i said this was going to be GOOD things about my week right? ok, then we'll just not mention the horrible fight i had with BF. hmm.. good things, good things... oh, i have one! this is the first time i didn't start the first day of the year with a nasty hangover! {not counting the times i was pregnant, since staying home was involuntary} yay for me!!


MONDAY
i was still reeling from the fight, but BF did suck it up and apologize today. AND admitted he was wrong to do what he did. there might be hope for this one, as he NEVER does any of those things if he can help it. 


TUESDAY
omg GROCERIES!! had an awesome laugh and talk with a dear friend while she drove me to grab my food. we talked and laughed and screamed and bitched. it was an EPIC good time. i love her!!


WEDNESDAY
#3 became a "piss ninja" today, by not only indicating that she had to pee, but also by holding it in until we took her to the potty. yay for her!! and yay for me, for being just that much closer to the end of an 8 1/2 year stretch of buying diapers every week!! in honour of this momentous event, i declared a day-long celebration of piss which i dubbed ever-so-creatively as "piss day" on my fb page. fun was had by all, as i scoured the internets for anything hilarious and piss-related. bear grylls would have wept with joy.


THURSDAY
got off of my ass and went through the entire house on a germ genocide mission. i even stayed away from the computer for almost  an entire afternoon!! i was fucking EXHAUSTED after all of that though. BF ran me a hot bath and let me be for awhile so that i could read and do girly stuff.


FRIDAY
good times on the page today. turned a potentially shitty situation into something funny as hell, with the help of my followers of course!! it never ceases to amaze me how strangers connected only by the internet can be so understanding and kind... AND FUNNY!! omfg these people are just as crazy as me!! 


SATURDAY
god knows what this day will bring, seeing as how it's still pretty early. but you know what? i survived another fucking week, so there's that!! and i have my 3 beautiful children, a BF who i am KIND OF done hatin' on, and the snow outside is pretty. my motto for today? hmm.. how about this one: "all a person really needs is kids, coffee, and metallica."


this concludes Sexy Saturday for this week, and i hope i have good things to tell you about next week as well. have a lovely day, week, month, year, fucking CENTURY everyone!! and if shit gets rough, try your darnedest to find the funny in it XD 

uuuuuggghhhh omg i love conan!! <3